One Size Doesn’t Fit All: How to Adjust Your Style to Succeed

Have you ever had a manager who micromanaged your every move, like an overprotective parent watching their kid at a school play, mouthing the lines with you?

It’s not fun and probably one of the quickest ways to make talented people feel stifled and frustrated.

Great leaders understand their role isn’t to control but to enable their teams to be their best.

One effective way to develop leadership is through coaching. Michael Bungay Stanier’s “The Coaching Habit” emphasises that asking the right questions and creating space for people to solve problems can unlock potential, build confidence, and encourage creativity.

Lead from the Front, Support from the Side, Coach from Behind

Let’s break down this approach. At first glance, it might sound like a weird yoga sequence, but it’s a simple leadership framework that helps you flex your style depending on the situation.

1. Lead from the Front: Sometimes, as a leader, you must be out there setting the direction, making decisions, and modelling behaviours. Think of it like being the lead goose in a V-formation, breaking the wind and showing the way.
   Michael Bungay Stanier notes that effective leadership starts with self-awareness. Leading by example inspires confidence and builds trust, which is essential in any coaching relationship.
   
   When?
   Lead from the front when facing critical challenges, making tough decisions, or modelling behaviour during change to inspire confidence, build trust, and set a clear direction for your team.
   

2. Support from the Side: Once people are on the right track, your role shifts. Now, you’re the cheerleader, guiding and providing resources without taking over. Supporting from the side means guiding and assisting without taking over. Leaders should avoid over-involvement, which can stifle creativity.
   In ‘The Coaching Habit,’ Bungay Stanier suggests asking open-ended questions to provoke thought. One key question is, ‘What’s the real challenge here for you?’ It helps individuals understand the problem and develop solutions.
   
   When?

   Support from the side when your team is on track but needs guidance. Ask open-ended questions to encourage problem-solving, offering support without over-involvement to promote their creativity.
   

3. Coach from Behind: When your team members are capable and motivated, you let them take the reins. Here, you’re in the background, asking insightful questions and nudging them to think through solutions themselves. You’re like Mr. Miyagi at the end of Karate Kid, subtly guiding while they deliver the knockout crane kick.
   The most powerful leaders coach from behind, allowing their team members to take the lead and grow by owning their work. It’s about enabling them to solve problems, make decisions, and ultimately become leaders. Bungay Stanier suggests that as leaders, we need to “stay curious longer,” asking questions that empower others to think critically and develop their capabilities.
   
   When?
   If a skilled team member faces a challenge, step back, ask, “What’s the real challenge here for you?” and let them take ownership, guiding their decision-making.
   
   Balancing these approaches helps your team feel supported while building confidence and competence.

5 Tips to Build a Coaching Style That Empowers Your Team

If you’re looking to adopt a coaching approach to leadership, here are five practical tips to help you make the transition:

1. Ask More, Talk Less
   Leaders often need all the answers, but coaching is about asking the right questions. Instead of jumping in with solutions, ask your team, “What do you think we should do?” Empowering them to come up with ideas and encourages critical thinking. By asking open-ended questions, you help them find their answers.
   

2. Stay Curious Longer
   In The Coaching Habit, Stanier encourages leaders to “stay curious longer and rush to action slower.” Often, we jump in to solve a problem before we fully understand it. You can help your team dig deeper into the issue by staying curious and asking follow-up questions. It gives them more ownership over the process and the outcome.
   

3. Focus on the Real Challenge
   When someone comes to you with a problem, the first issue they raise isn’t always the real problem. Stanier’s famous question, “What’s the real challenge here for you?” helps cut through the surface-level noise and gets to the heart of the matter. Helping your team focus on what’s important gives them the tools to tackle issues more effectively.
   

4. Create a Safe Space for Experimentation
   A coaching leader creates an environment where it’s okay to make mistakes. Let your team know that trying new things is safe, even if they don’t always work out perfectly. It encourages innovation and helps people build confidence in their abilities. Offer support and guidance when things go wrong, but resist the urge to take over. Your role is to coach them through setbacks and help them learn from the experience.
   

5. Give Regular Feedback, Not Just During Reviews
   Waiting for formal performance reviews to give feedback is outdated. Instead, offer regular, informal feedback that is timely and specific. Praise efforts, highlight successes, and offer constructive advice when necessary. This feedback keeps people on track and shows you are actively engaged in their development.

Why Bother? Coaching Unlocks Potential

The role of a leader is to build a capable and confident team. Adopting a coaching style empowers your team to think for themselves and take ownership.

By asking better questions, staying curious, and providing support and feedback, you help your team unlock their potential and become as good as possible, benefiting both them and the organisation.