Mastering Your First 121: Tips for New Managers to Build Strong Team Relationships.
As a new manager, one of the first things you’ll need to do is 121 meetings with your team. These meetings are essential because they help you build strong relationships with the people you manage.
Starting meetings can be scary, especially if you’re new to the role.
Here are some tips from our principal, method cards and conversations in our “Learn to Lead” Fireside Chats.
The first time you meet
A great way to kick off your first one-on-one meeting is to ask your team members:
How do you want to be managed? Or how do you like to work?
This question is important because it helps you understand your team member’s preferences.
For example, some people prefer to receive feedback and then take time to think about it independently.
Others might like to work with you to find solutions to any challenges they face.
Modern Top Tip: Asking this question shows you care about building a relationship with your team.
It also demonstrates you’re focused on their needs as a manager, not just your own.
This sets a positive tone for your relationship and helps create a trusting environment you can build on.
Preparing for the 121
No, really… prepare
Before the meeting, think about what you want to discuss. Make a list of important topics, goals, or issues. This will help keep the conversation focused and ensure you get the most out of the time together.
Collect any relevant data, notes, or updates needed for the meeting. This could include performance reviews, project updates, or feedback from other team members.
Let the person know if you plan to discuss anything other than meeting goals. This will build trust.
Schedule these 121s regularly and stick to the time. Consistency shows that you value the relationship and the time spent together — do not underestimate this.
Create a safe space — How?
Begin the meeting with a warm greeting and ask how they’re doing. This sets a positive tone.
Give the person your full attention. Turn off distractions like your phone or computer notifications.
Focus on what the other person is saying. Nod, make eye contact, and occasionally repeat what you heard to show you understand.
Let them speak without interrupting or criticising. Even if you disagree, listen fully before responding.
Example Tips:
Start the meeting by asking, “How are you feeling about your work right now?”
Encourage them by saying, “I’m here to listen to whatever is on your mind.”
Focus on the Individual — Ask the right questions.
“What are your main goals right now?” or “Where is your focus?”
“What barriers are you facing?” or “Is anything holding you back?”
“What excites you about your work?” or “Are there any new skills or experiences you’d like to explore?”
Example Tips:
After they share their goals, ask, “How can I support you in achieving these?”
If they mention challenges, follow up with, “What help do you need to overcome them?”
Modern Top Tips:
Mix up your environment, get out of the office, walk, coffee shop (even a cheeky wine or beer)
These questions take practice and confidence. Write them in your notebook, and remember to check your body language. You don’t want to come across as inauthentic.
The session
Encourage Two-Way Communication
When asking open-ended questions, let the other person lead the conversation. This builds trust, encourages open sharing, generates new ideas, and helps address potential challenges early on.
Why Bother? The person feels valued and respected, strengthening relationships and facilitating a positive work environment.
Constructive Feedback
Recognition motivates and acknowledges hard work. Constructive feedback helps understand areas for improvement. Balanced and specific feedback guides toward better performance without feeling discouraged.
Why bother? They feel recognised for their successes and know where they can improve, which helps them grow professionally.
Set Actionable Goals Collaboratively
Working together to set clear objectives and a plan of action ensures that everyone is on the same page. It gives a sense of ownership over tasks and clear direction. Actionable and realistic goals help people stay focused and motivated.
Why bother? They feel empowered and more accountable for their work. Clear, achievable goals reduce confusion and increase productivity, leading to better results and a stronger commitment to the team’s objectives.
Respect Their Time
Keeping the meeting concise and sticking to the agenda shows that you value their time. It also keeps the discussion focused and efficient. Well-structured and purposeful meetings are more likely to be valuable rather than a chore.
Why bother? They appreciate your respect for their time, which helps maintain a positive attitude and keep conversations relevant and productive.
Show Appreciation
Recognising their contributions and expressing gratitude go a long way in making them feel valued. It shows that you notice their efforts and care about their well-being. Regular appreciation strengthens the relationship and motivates them to continue performing well.
Outcome: Recognising employees’ work creates a positive work environment, increasing loyalty and motivation.
Modern Top Tip: Ask for feedback on how the session went, what worked, how it could be improved
And the most important part, the Follow-up
Steps to Effective Follow-ups
Agree on Actions: At the end of the session, ensure everyone understands the tasks and deadlines. Assign responsibilities and set specific deadlines. Ask for a summary of their understanding and plans to encourage proactivity and trust.
Set a Deadline: Be clear about when the follow-up should happen. Whether it’s a day, a week, or a month later, ensure a set time to check back on progress. This creates accountability and ensures that the agreed-upon actions are not forgotten.
Send Follow-up Notes: After the session, send out notes summarising the key points, actions, and deadlines. This helps everyone stay on track and provides a written record of what was discussed. Include any relevant materials or resources that can assist with the tasks.
Track Progress and Address Challenges: Use the follow-up as an opportunity to track progress and address any challenges that may have arisen. This will keep the momentum going and show you are committed to supporting their success.
We can help
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